4 Things You Should Know About Motherhood and Mental Health
Alright, moms—and parents of all persuasions, listen up! If you or someone you care about is struggling after having a baby, this blog is for you.
Here at Brave have been noticing some trends with moms, mental health, and ideas about how to be a parent. A lot of people are struggling, but don’t have access to the resources and solutions that could make life a little easier—which is why (hi!) we’re here talking about this.
Moms are superheroes and deserve everything, including support in tackling life’s challenges after having a baby. So, we outlined a few common struggles we’ve been seeing a lot of recently, as well as steps to take if these struggles resonate with you.
1. It’s Not Just You: Covid Has Made Parenting More Difficult
For many moms with “Covid babies” and families who are “Covid parenting,” not only do things feel harder than they should be; they feel worse. Even as much of the fear of the pandemic is behind us, the isolation and subsequent lack of support has remained. Part of this challenge is knowing that parenting “takes a village” but more moms than ever feel cut off and alone. Compounded by uncertainty, anxiety, post-partum depression, a lot of parents are struggling to find their footing.
Identify Trusted People and Ask for Help
It’s hard, but the most reliable way to get help is to ask for it. Talking to someone you trust can help you identify and express your need for support. At Brave, we start by asking questions like, “How am I expressing my needs for support?” Who are your tangible supports? Who are your emotional supports? Who are your companionship and advice supports?
When we have the space to identify and communicate our needs, we increase our ability to deal with big, strong emotions, meet our needs, and get back on our feet.
2. You Aren’t Weak or a Failure (and No One Thinks You Are)
Many of the women we speak with live highly regulated lives. They’re strong, capable, and have been able to handle things that come their way. They expect to approach parenting with the same high level of competence.
However, motherhood is one thing that is almost never what you expect, no matter how prepared you are. Your entire world and identity change overnight and that shakes a lot of people to their cores. When life takes an unexpected turn, it’s all too easy to fall into negative thought patterns. Feeling like other people have it all together and you’re a failure for needing support is all too common.
Unpack Your Beliefs About Motherhood
Feeling overwhelmed, pessimistic, and weak for needing help? It’s time to unpack your preconceived notions and identify where those ideas are coming from. Why do you think you should instinctively know how to do everything? Why do you think you’ll look weak if you ask for help? Understanding the root of these ideas is the first step in being gentler with yourself and feeling better overall.
3. Things Don’t Have to Be “Bad Enough” Before You Seek Help
A persistent myth about therapy is that things in your life must be a certain level of “bad” before therapy is an acceptable option. This doesn’t just apply to post-partum. The “things could be worse” mindset keeps all kinds of people from accessing a valuable resource, just because they haven’t suffered in some specific way.
4. You Aren’t Allowed to Talk About Your Life
As you can probably guess, we think this logic is a bunch of bunk.
Whether you’ve just had your first child or your fifth, there’s so much that can make it difficult. For many people, just talking, without having a specific goal, is what they need most. And that’s totally fine! You’re allowed to just talk about your experience of being a mom, for better or worse. Verbal processing is so helpful to many people, and no one will turn you away because your life hasn’t been “bad enough.”
5. Self-Care Is Non-Negotiable
Before the baby comes, people are coached on birth- and baby-related techniques. Howe to breathe during labor, feeding tips, sleep prep, and more. Nurturing a mother’s sense of peace and wellness tends to fall by the wayside, which only makes other post-partum challenges more intense. This can leave new moms struggling, anxious, and feeling bad for feeling bad.
Shift Your Self-Care Mindset
Enter self-care! Our favorite non-negotiable. Forget the clichés and ask yourself what you need to feel good every single day. Not once a week or once a month—every. Dang. Day. Do you need to call a friend? A cup of coffee? Twenty minutes to yourself, alone? Whatever it is, make it part of your daily routine. Just like your new baby, you deserve to have your needs met. It’s not selfish to prioritize your own care. And once you start doing it, you’ll start feeling a whole lot better—we promise.
You’re One Brave Mother
If this article resonated with you and you’d like to talk with someone about life after a baby, we’d love to chat! Click the button below to get started—we can’t wait to hear from you!
